GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT

“Some of the things our investigation did may have been unsavory, certainly from a personal hygiene point. I mean, garbage, yuck.”

Oracle CEO Larry Ellison, on the cash-for-trash scandal set off by his company’s funding of investigations of organizations believed to be Microsoft front groups, San Jose Mercury News, 29 June 2000

THAT HIP WE-SPENT-OUR-SEED-MONEY-ON-LAPTOPS LOOK

“[The target market is a] dot com that doesn’t know if it’s going to be around in a week, but wants to look cutting edge.”

Leo Suarez, a laptop marketer at IBM, on the already-promising resale market for the yet-to-be-rolled-out Thinkpad 240, Wired News, 27 June 2000

THE LOVE THAT DARE NOT SQUIRT ITS NAME

“I’m skeptical of these devices that find each other and then start doing things among themselves.”

Handspring cofounder Jeff Hawkins, on the unseemly implications of leaving your devices alone together, eWeek, 27 June 2000

SERVICE WITH A LAST MILE

“We view ourselves as an Internet retail company, delivering the last mile.”

Webvan CEO George Shaheen, ruminating on the shape of his company’s business after snapping up rival HomeGrocer.com, News.com, 26 June 2000

OPEN SOURCE, INSERT FOOT

“We will run [.NET] with the same kind of openness that we’ve run Windows.”

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, fulfilling the software industry’s fears in announcing an embrace-and-extend Internet services initiative, Salon.com, 23 June 2000