WE TRY HARDER THAN, UM, THAT OTHER DIVISION

“It’s like Hertz and Budget. Hertz is the largest and most dominant, but Budget has a brand name you’ve heard of and that is a good alternative in the value space.”

America Online executive Audrey Weil, on the sub-brand Compuserve Internet service she runs, The New York Times, 27 September 1999

TAKE MY STOCK, PLEASE

“There’s such an overvaluation of tech stocks it’s absurd. And I’d put our company’s stock in that category.”

Microsoft president Steve Ballmer, putting a big “kick me” sign on shares of his company, The New York Times, 24 September 1999

SO THAT’S WHAT “I-S-P” STANDS FOR

“This is a two-horse race. I think there will be some people wetting their pants in Virginia. Frankly, I’m so excited I may wet mine.”

MindSpring president Mike McQuary, discussing the liquid assets his company offered in a merger with Internet-service rival EarthLink to combat America Online, ZDNN, 23 September 1999

YOUR PANTS ARE SO IN BETA

“The Web works well for standardized products, but with fashion you reinvent the product every six months.”

Hugo Boss PR chief Godo Kraemer, who apparently hasn’t stayed au courant about Internet-time-driven product upgrade cycles, The New York Times, 22 September 1999

HIS MASTER’S VOICE

“Phones are no longer being viewed as a voice device. An infocentric appliance is where I’d like to take them.”

Bellsouth cell-phone technologist Stephen Blust, who’s intent on taking the “phone” out of “telephones,” San Jose Mercury News, 20 September 1999