INSTANT ON, NO BANNER ADS — YUP, NOTHING LIKE A PC

“People say they want full Web browsing, and that’s the one thing we can’t deliver. We need to let people know that wireless is not like using a PC.”

Michael Mace, chief competitive officer of Palm Computing, apologizing unnecessarily for the wireless Web’s flaws, The New York Times, 28 September 2000

OR WAS THAT A SNAIL WITH A PENTIUM ON ITS BACK?

“We’ve clearly hit a speed bump.”

Apple CEO Steve Jobs, on disappointing earnings projected for the company this quarter — due, no doubt, to disappointed Apple fans who’ve been waiting for some speed bumps in their favored Macintosh models, Upside.com, 28 September 2000

BUSINESS CASUAL DOESN’T COUNT?

“I had this techno-utopian view early on that the Internet, for instance, would make possible a decentralized, Jeffersonian democracy. Now, I don’t believe that big social changes will be brought about by technology.”

Lotus Development founder turned venture capitalist Mitch Kapor, skipping over the wardrobe changes wrought by years of suit-taunting by the geeks, Interactive Week, 25 September 2000

ATTENTION DEVELOPERS: PLEASE DOWNLOAD EXPECTATIONS PATCH

“In January, we had set bad expectations on the ability to ship this year, so we’ll ship it next year.”

Microsoft.NET general manager Michael Risse, on the company’s continuing delays in shipping anything resembling working code, News.com, 26 September 2000

SITE UNSEEN

“I don’t think the I.O.C. can be seen in any way limiting speech about the Olympics.”

International Olympic Committee new media director Franklin Servan-Schrieber, on the decidedly un-Olympic ban the IOC has placed on Internet coverage of the Games, The New York Times, 25 September 2000