STOP MAKING SENSE, START MAKING DONGLES

“It makes no sense to tether ourselves to our mobile devices.”

Apple marketing chief Phil Schiller on killing the headphone jack, Quartz, 7 September 2007

WHY 2014 WILL BE LIKE 1984

“Every company that made computers when we started the Mac, they’re all gone. We’re the only one left.”

Apple shiller Phil Schiller, conveniently denying the continued existence of HP, Macworld, 23 January 2014

LET’S NOT BRING UP THE FACEBOOK DEAL, OKAY?

“It jumped the shark when it went to Android.”

Apple marketing chief Phil Schiller, on why he deleted his account on the Instagram photo-sharing service in a fit of operating-system pique, 9to5Mac, 19 April 2012

ARE YOU SAYING STEVE JOBS BUYS THE SWIMSUIT ISSUE?

“The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format.”

Apple sidekick-in-chief Phil Schiller, explaining why the company has banned little-known sexy apps from its App Store, while keeping ones by Sports Illustrated and Playboy, New York Times, 23 February 2010