HE’S EMINENTLY QUALIFIED TO BE ORACLE’S PRESIDENT

“The HP board just made the worst personnel decision since the idiots on the Apple board fired Steve Jobs many years ago.”

Oracle CEO Larry Ellison, criticizing the decision by Hewlett-Packard’s board to request CEO Mark Hurd’s resignation following an expense-account scandal involving a softcore porn actress, New York Times, 8 August 2010

WE BOUGHT IT TO BE IN THE RANDOMLY SPENDING SHAREHOLDERS’ MONEY BUSINESS

“We didn’t buy Palm to be in the smartphone business.”

Hewlett-Packard CEO Mark Hurd, on why HP spent $1.2 billion on a smartphone company, ZDNet, 2 June 2010

THE BELIEF IN A THING MAKES IT NOT HAPPEN

“I believe Palm can survive as an independent company.”

Palm CEO Jon Rubinstein, less than a week before selling out to Hewlett-Packard, Financial Times, 22 April 2010

ONLY THE PARANOID MAKE QUOTA

“There’s a paranoia I live with. Somewhere in the world, right now, there’s a salesman talking with a customer–I hope he is as good as I need him to be.”

Hewlett-Packard CEO Mark Hurd, obsessing over his salespeople rather than his engineers, Forbes, 25 March 2010

BURN RATE ORDER

“We’ve had to deal with taking thousands of people out before, and taking them out globally.”

Hewlett-Packard CEO Mark Hurd, making his company’s mass layoffs sound a tad violent, Big Tech, 15 September 2008