DUDE, DON’T SMOKE THE HASH TABLE!

“Most CIOs will tell you they don’t want any barefoot, navel-pierced hippies messing around with their databases.”

Wheelhouse chairman Frank Ingari, who hasn’t been briefed on Linux programmers’ penchant for Birkenstocks, The Wall Street Journal, 9 April 2001

DON’T HITCHHIKE ON THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY

“I want to ride in the car, I don’t want to be locked in the trunk.”

Internet gadfly Dave Winer, insisting that he’s shocked — shocked! — to learn that Microsoft’s technology plans aren’t entirely open, The New York Times, 9 April 2001

GARBAGE IN, COMPOST OUT

“We are teaching the CEOs at all our companies how to be thrifty right now.”

Jim Dorrian of Crosspoint Venture Partners, on his firm’s attempts to recycle its portfolio companies, Washington Post, 27 March 2001

IN MY SPARE TIME, I LIKE TO SIT AT THE SEASHORE

“I’m not going to accept the argument that there is some way to get around [the Internet gambling ban]. And even if that is the case, then people will always find a way to get around it.”

Australian Communications Minister Richard Alston, on an Internet gambling ban that even he admits might be pointless because of the ease of hiding IP addresses, Australian IT, 28 March 2001

I NEVER GOT INTO TECHNO

“Our audience has become an incredibly wired, techno-literate audience whose fundamental approach to entertainment has changed.”

MTVi CEO Nicholas Butterworth, on the fundamental differences between Napster users who download songs for free and MTV viewers who watch music videos for free, News.com, 27 March 2001