HIGH JINX

“I would much rather team up with a company that has been kicked in the head than one that is and always has been flying high.”

DataBites CEO Ralph Rofe, on selling his wireless portal company to Flip Filipowski’s Divine Inc., the incubator turned VC firm turned enterprise software company, Chicago Tribune, 22 May 2001

WE HAVE MET THE ENEMA …

“What the music industry really needs is an Internet enema.”

MP3.com CEO Michael Robertson, on curing what ails big music companies, MP3.com, 15 October 1998

... AND HE IS US

“MP3.com will be a great asset to Vivendi Universal in meeting our goal of becoming the leading online music service provider.”

Vivendi Universal CEO Jean-Marie Messier, who now owns Robertson’s assets, BBC, 20 May 2001

NONE OF THE ABOVE

“No one will deny that Sony is a world-class hardware company, and no one would deny that Microsoft is a world-class software company. Nintendo aspires to be neither one of those things.”

Peter Main, a Nintendo marketing executive, feinting his game-console competitors with damn praise, San Francisco Chronicle, 18 May 2001

POINT AND SHOOT, WITHOUT THAT PESKY POINT

“Imagine a corporate buyer navigating a virtual marketplace with a Doom-like user interface — buyers could simply shoot the deals they want.”

Forrester research director Carl Howe, on new technologies that will make videogames feel like work, Internet.com, 17 May 2001

WE PUT THE “LESS” IN “WIRELESS”

“The problem meant you’d have an unmobile mobile phone, so that’s no good.”

BT spokesperson Roger Westbury, on a glitch that caused advanced 3G phones to go kaput while performing the decidedly 1G function of placing a voice call, Computerworld, 15 May 2001