INTERNET + INFERIOR = INTERIOR!

“The interest of the 300,000-plus current beneficiaries of the individual Indian trust outweigh the potential inconvenience of those parties that would otherwise have access to Interior’s Internet services.”

U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth, ordering the Department of the Interior unplugged from the Internet for lax security, The Washington Post, 16 March 2004

HOW MANY ENGINEERS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW UP A ROAD TRIP?

“One of the best ways to motivate engineers is to tell them that there’s something that can’t be done.”

DARPA program manager Tom Strat, whose robot race through the Mojave proved so motivating that no contestants finished, CNN.com, 14 March 2004

CARELESS WEBMASTERS FOR BUSH/CHENEY ’04

“We are taking significant precautions to prevent the use of offensive materials on the GeorgeWBush.com website.”

Bush-Cheney online campaign manager Chuck DeFeo, threatening to pull the plug on his employer’s website, Wired News, 12 March 2004

THAT EXPLAINS WHY THE SEX-PILL COME-ONS ARE SO FORMAL THESE DAYS

“There aren’t any casual spammers now.”

America Online lawyer Randall Boe, on teaming up with archnemeses Yahoo and Microsoft to hunt down spammers, The New York Times, 11 March 2004

AND HERE I THOUGHT MICROSOFT WAS AGAINST FREE SOFTWARE

“We ask that you cease immediately the mailing of free software, and other types of gifts, to the Department of the Army personnel. Your offer of free software places our employees and soldiers in jeopardy of unknowingly committing a violation of the ethics rules and regulations to which they have taken an oath to uphold.”

Pentagon lawyer Matt Reres, instructing Microsoft to stop mailing free software to military personnel, News.com, 10 March 2004