I SAID, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

“It can have an impact on our results.”

Siemens spokesman Florian Kreutz, on the potential for a flaw in his company’s phones to disappoint investors as well as deafen users, Siemens, 28 August 2004

UNFORTUNATELY, IT’S FULL OF KOOL-AID

“If you want my basic assessment here, the glass is three- quarters full.”

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, on eviscerating Longhorn to avoid further delays in the operating system’s ship date, News.com, 27 August 2004

THE NONFACTUAL KIND OF FACTUAL INFORMATION, THAT IS

“Our customers continue to value information comparing the various vendor technology offerings. We believe it is important to continue to provide this kind of factual information.”

Microsoft UK manager Tracey Pretorius, on a finding by British advertising regulators that its ads claiming Linux was more expensive were misleading, eWeek, 25 August 2004

THE BAD ATTITUDE ON BOARD IS STILL FREE

“If you still want free, free is available.”

Northwest Airlines executive Tim Griffin, on charging flyers with the temerity to book a flight anywhere but his employer’s website, The New York Times, 25 August 2004

GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT

“The Internet promises infinite variety and possibility, and yet delivers, over and over again, the same thing.”

Online dater Karina Longworth, on collaboratively filtering herself into a corner, USA Today, 23 August 2004