THAT GIANT SUCKING SOUND IS COMING FROM YOUR QUARTERLY EARNINGS

“[Microsoft] has sucked $60 billion out of our industry that could have been used for innovation.”

Novell CEO Jack Messman, offering his best imitation of Ross Perot in explaining why his company missed Wall Street revenue estimates, News.com, 13 September 2004

YOU CAN SCHOOL SOME OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME

“It is our goal to put the sum of all human knowledge in the form of an encyclopedia in the hands of every single person on the planet for free.”

Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, on his site’s grandiosely boring ambition, The Washington Post, 9 September 2004

FAILING UPWARDS

“Are we meeting the specific goals this year? Not to the agressive levels we’ve set.”

Intel executive Abhi Talwalkar, explaining the Itanium chip’s failure in the blunt language of Santa Clara, News.com, 8 September 2004

FINLAND, FINLAND, FINLAND!

“The hype about everything going digital is over. What happened when Nokia grew in the 1990’s was that Finland was suddenly an interesting place. Now the situation has changed, and we are back in normal times.”

Finnish professor Ilpo Koskinen, on the welcome return of Nordic ennui to the land of Linux and cell phones, The New York TImes, 4 September 2004