UNTIL THE BANK REPOSESSED OUR STATUETTE, THAT IS

“Bankruptcy never felt so good.”

Tim Cavanaugh, editor of the late, lamented Suck.com, accepting a Webby award with the requisitely short speech, Wired News, 19 July 2001

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY

“Sun has demonstrated it will use legal means to compete.”

Microsoft Windows product manager Greg Sullivan, grousing that his employer is at a disadvantage, News.com, 18 July 2001

TWO OUT OF THREE AIN’T BAD, BUT ZERO OUT OF THREE SURE SUCKS

“We can’t be a great technology company while being great direct marketers and merchandisers.”

Egghead.com merchandising exec Merle McIntosh, defending his company’s decision to outsource its auction sales to FairMarket, News.com, 17 July 2001

TOO MANY PRIESTS, NOT ENOUGH INDIANS

“There’s a battle going on for the soul of the entrepreneur. It’s a contest between missionaries and mercenaries.”

Kleiner Perkins VC John Doerr, who did more than his part to appeal to entrepreneurs’ mercenary instincts when he declared that the Internet boom was “the largest legal creation of wealth” in history, San Jose Mercury News, 16 July 2001

NAPKINS ARE SO OLD MEDIA

“Salon is worth less right now than the pre-money valuation of most companies written down on a napkin.”

Bhu Srinivasan, a startup entrepreneur seeking to make a hostile bid for Salon.com, with plans to sack its staff and use it as a showcase for his company’s unproven technology, Inside.com, 11 July 2001