IT’S A WONDERFUL NET

“Technology really has turned out to be a wonderful thing. Americans really are tuning in in a positive way to the Internet.”

Bill Clinton, president and chief executive officer of the United States, waxing poetic on the wonders of the Internet but somehow failing to cite the Drudge Report’s URL, AllPolitics, 12 February 1998

CHILD SAFETY FOR DUMMIES

“We wanted children to be able to go to places on the Web where they can feel safe to explore and play. We also wanted something that doesn’t require every consumer to be a Web genius — something simple, clean and easily applied.”

Tom Morgan, chief executive officer of IDG spinoff NVolve, on his “Safe Playgrounds Initiative” that would put childproof caps on selected online content areas — without having parents actually do any work, of course, New York Times CyberTimes, 16 February 1998

THAT SUICIDE THING DOESN’T FIT THE BUSINESS MODEL

“I don’t want to be a Net star. I was the Kurt Cobain of the Internet [after] Newsweek ran this big picture of me and a skateboard.”

Jaime Levy of Electronic Hollywood, who’s apparently glad to turn a buck off the digital star system but doesn’t care to participate, Village Voice, 11 February 1998

THIS REVOLUTION WILL BE MERCHANDISED

“We’d love to revolutionize media for women. Right now we’re just a zine, but someday I want to see a print Maxi magazine, Maxi radio, Maxi TV, Maxi clothing, Maxi: The Movie. Commerce. Makeup. World domination. The planet will be like a Disneyland for women.”

Janelle Brown, cofounder of Maxi, an online zine for the painfully underserved demographic of hip urban twentysomething women, on her modest plans for her media beast, San Francisco Bay Guardian, 11 February 1998

I’VE GOT SOME AOL DISKS EMBEDDED IN MY SOFA CUSHIONS

“The good news is we’re trying to get people to use us more. We want them to embed us in their lives.”

Bob “Remember me from MTV?” Pittman, president and chief operating officer of America Online, on the service’s recent price hike, News.com, 10 February 1998