IN OTHER WORDS, IT’S COMPLETELY OUTSIDE OUR CORE COMPETENCY

“We think it’s much broader than Novell, much broader than NetWare, much broader than networks.”

Novell CEO Eric Schmidt, on how not being an end-to-end solutions provider isn’t the end of the world, News.com, 22 March 1999

FOR EXAMPLE, MAIMING AND EXPLODING THEM INSTEAD

“We’re hoping that you will go beyond driving and shooting and killing people.”

Sony vice president Phil Harrison, on the entertainment potential of the new Playstation machine, The New York Times, 19 March 1999

LENI RIEFENSTAHL DOES OUR ORIENTATION VIDEOS

“Ask anybody who’s ever worked at Microsoft, and they’ll tell you that if there’s one cultural quality we have, it’s that we always see ourselves as an underdog.”

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, on his corporate capacity for self-delusion, Seattle Times, 18 March 1999

TRUTH IN SELF-PROMOTION

“The record labels say, ‘You’ve got a ton of crap!’ And they’re right — we have a ton of crap.”

MP3.com CEO Michael Robertson, whose recent $11 million financing round has given him a shit-eating grin, at a panel on the file format that’s supposed to change the music industry at the SXSW Interactive festival in Austin, Texas, 16 March 1999

WHY NOT CC DAVID BOIES WHILE YOU’RE AT IT?

“I read all the email that employees send me, and I pass items on to people for action.”

Microsoft chief evasive officer Bill Gates, refuting his oft-forgetful videotaped testimony in an upcoming book, News.com, 15 March 1999