THAT’S SO DUH

“I got tired of not being able to download my own music.”

Madonna, on licensing her music catalog to iTunes because she apparently couldn’t figure out how to use file-sharing software to download it, Engadget, 7 September 2005

THE STANDARD RETENTION PACKAGE INCLUDES A TABLE-THROWING

“Mark’s decision to leave was disappointing and I urged him strongly to change his mind. But his characterization of that meeting is not accurate.”

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, denying that he threw a chair after learning that an engineer was leaving to join Google, News.com, 2 September 2005

NEITHER SNOW NOR RAIN NOR HEAT NOR FIBER-OPTIC CUTS

“Is the Internet hurting the mails, or helping? It’s doing both.”

Pitney Bowes CEO Michael Critelli, on the cunning persistence of atom-shifters in an age of bits, The New York Times, 4 September 2005

AND HARVEY IS HIS MESSENGER

“You gotta put something at the center, and they’ve got a big rock, left over from pre-Muslim days. That’s why they go.”

Burning Man founder Larry Harvey, comparing his desert arts-and-drugs festival to a major world religion, Wired News, 2 September 2005

“BLOGGING” DOES SOUND LIKE IT WAS INVENTED IN SAN FRANCISCO

“There’s nary a gay bloke I’ve met who doesn’t read dozens of blogs.”

David Hauslaib, on launching a frequently updated website for homosexualists, Wired News, 1 September 2005