WE ONLY RECENTLY DISCOVERED THERE’S NO MONEY INSIDE THE BOX

“Xerox is willing to think outside of the box. There is a willingness to break out of the old mode of operating.”

Xerox PARC chief John Seely Brown, explaining that his destitute parent company is now putting more emphasis on financial innovation, San Jose Mercury News, 24 October 2000

UNFORTUNATELY, I’D LIKE TO BUY THE EXCEPTIONS

“I think the stock market, with some exceptions, is now very rational.”

Microsoft CEO and amateur stock analyst Steve Ballmer, grousing that he still can’t pick up some companies he’d like to acquire cheaply enough, Wired News, 23 October 2000

WILL KEEPS STEALING THE BLANKETS

“I’ve enjoyed working with [NBCi CEO] Will [Lansing] these past seven months and, as we’ve streamlined the company together, it has become evident there is overlap between our two positions.”

NBCi president Edmond Sanctis, on his discovery that the GE-backed portal’s management suite was getting a bit too narrowband for the both of them, News.com, 20 October 2000

AND WE’LL MAKE IT UP IN VOLUME

“If we could sell twice as many notebooks, drop the margin by 50 percent, I’d still have 50 percent more profit.”

Dell CFO James Schneider, displaying the math skills that led the computer maker to announce lower earnings twice in a row this year, News.com, 19 October 2000

iGOOFED

“I am thrilled with [the Cube], and our customers are thrilled with it, but too few of them are buying it.”

Apple CEO Steve Jobs, on the problem with customers who aren’t giving Apple their custom when it comes to the company’s gorgeous, overpriced hunk of plastic and silicon, Wired News, 18 October 2000