BLACK-SCHOLES DOESN’T WORK WHEN YOU DIVIDE BY ZERO

“A lot of people are saying, ‘I don’t care about the options — let’s talk salary.’ So there’s been more negotiations on that point.”

BlueLight.com HR director Pippa Manley, on the Kmart online subsidiary’s options-averse hires, The New York Times, 31 July 2000

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TALK TO THE BRAND

“What most excites me is being the personal face of the brand to women around the world, which I feel I haven’t been able to do as CEO.”

iVillage cofounder Candice Carpenter, on her decision to cede the top spot at the money-losing women’s site to No. 2 Doug McCormick, Inside.com, 27 July 2000

PLUS WE’D HAVE TO DELETE ALL THE SWEAR WORDS

“We would have a problem with full open disclosure, because that, in fact, would allow anyone who chose to develop techniques to spoof what we do an easy opportunity to figure out how to do that.”

FBI lab director Donald Kerr, on the agency’s fears that, should its Carnivore Internet wiretap server’s source code be disclosed, Netscape-style, everyone would know what a shoddy job it was doing in monitoring Net traffic, The New York Times, 25 July 2000

IN CASE IT WASN’T CLEAR, THAT’S A REFERENCE TO MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION

“The music industry will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any threat, oppose any foe to protect the integrity of their copyrights and the copyrights of their artists.”

Time Warner president Richard Parsons, threatening to go nuclear if companies like Napster continue to threaten his music group’s profit margins on lumps of plastic, News.com, 24 July 2000

WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TRADING STOCKS ONLINE AND GET LAID?

“I think it’s a good thing for guys and gals like you who write the future into your code to think in terms not of strict short-term markets, but rather try to start to think biologically.”

Novelist and physicist Gregory Benford, on the code-slinging set’s need to reinitialize their Maslovian stack and attend to some basic biological functions, Wired News, 21 July 2000