BUSINESS NEWS KILLED THE RADIO STAR

“Can you say, ‘MarketWatch on MTV’?”

CBS MarketWatch editor-in-chief Thom Calandra, musing on the no-doubt certain appeal of hard-core financial reporting to Beavis and Butthead, San Francisco Chronicle, 9 September 1999

WAKE ME UP FOR VERSION 3.0

“This is network computing 2.0. We’ve learned a lot in the last two years.”

Sun Microsystems president Ed Zander, on why the new Sun Ray terminal stands a chance of finding customers, unlike the earlier JavaStation, The New York Times, 8 September 1999

IF YOU CAN’T ACCESSORIZE, JUST PILE IT ON

“For us, the Internet is not an add-on — it’s a major, giant new growth business.”

Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone, on his designs for the Web after he merges his Net-clueless media company with CBS, another Net-clueless media company, News.com, 7 September 1999

ONLY THE PARANOID RAKE IN LUCRATIVE SERVICE CONTRACTS

“I’m in the security business, and the security business is the business of paranoia.”

Cryptonym chief scientist Andrew Fernandes, explaining the connection between taunting Microsoft about a newly discovered Windows security hole and maximizing shareholder value, ZDNN, 3 September 1999

QUALITY IS JOB WHATEVER

“We are going to do fewer things very well.”

Microsoft president Steve Ballmer, announcing new MSN chief Rick Belluzzo’s plans to make a network of lackluster sites even more lackluster, USA Today, 3 September 1999