MAYBE THE MULTIMEDIA’S THE PROBLEM

“If you put multimedia, a leather skirt, and lipstick on a grandmother and take her to a nightclub, she’s still not going to get lucky.”

Be Inc. chariman Jean-Louis Gassee, on Microsoft’s plans to dress up the DOS-based Windows 98 for one more release, The New York Times, 9 April 1999

OUR DESIGN ELEMENTS, OUR SELVES

“Our campaign, which uses human form as a design element, draws attention to similarities of successful individuals and the Palm V.”

3Com spokesperson Liz Brooking, explaining how new ads for her company’s handheld devices that featured a naked model portraying a fictitious dancer really weren’t about objectifying women, The Wall Street Journal, 8 April 1999 (paid subscription required)

EVERYBODY FAKES IT, BUT NO ONE TELLS

“These stocks really defy analysis anyway, although we can all fake it for a while.”

Robert Dickey, managing director of technical research at Dain Rauscher Wessels, offering a really technical analysis of the Internet stock surge, CBS MarketWatch, 7 April 1999

THE URL WITH THE MOST CAKE

“We don’t think the word ‘magazine’ properly describes what we do any more.”

Salon editor-in-chief David Talbot, on how his online publication’s redesign into a network of Web sites had nothing to do with its very recent acquisition of the salon.com domain name, News.com, 5 April 1999

MICROSOFT RESEARCH: WE TRY HARDER

“If people don’t tell you you’re stupid periodically, you lose your incentive to try hard.”

Microsoft research chief Rick Rashid, revealing that the secret purpose of his $3 billion-a-year division is to boost Bill Gates’s self-esteem by hiring university professors for him to insult, The Washington Post, 5 April 1999